Dorian Flagg

Dorian Flagg

Dorian Flagg is a journalist, satirist, and political activist currently in the 8th congressional district of Georgia.
Dorian Flagg

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I’m sure that by now all of you are aware that quite a few states have taken the time to shoot the federal government nice little petitions requesting they be allowed to peacefully secede from the union. Did you catch that? I said they are requesting…to be allowed…to no longer be subject to the federal government. As much as I expected, while reading over a few of these petitions, to see them end with “Pretty please, with cherries on top”; alas I did not.

Can you imagine your cherub, cheeked, little four year old waddling into the living room one evening while you’re preoccupied with the television…wait for it…programming, and looking you square in the eye with a most serious demeanor, and pristine British accent, saying;
“Papa. Mama. I appreciate all that the two of you have done for me. I honestly do. You have been with me from the cradle up until now and for the most part it’s been tolerable. You have provided some food. You have provided some shelter. But now, I fear that you are becoming dictatorial and overbearing. When I was younger you tickled me. You sang to me. You rocked me to sleep, and you even took the trouble of cleaning my unspeakables when I soiled them so. Now though, that I have progresses beyond crawling on all fours, and have developed quite the vocabulary far, far ahead of …how do you say…goo goo, gah gah…you have started to change. You have begun telling me things like, no. You have begun raising your voice at me when I do things that three years ago were adorable. You have begun giving me rules of what I can touch or what I can’t put in my mouth. All these things were somewhat understandable to me; I could see how you might simply be attempting to protect me. But with this latest encroachment of my rights, this …this…this horrid thing you have cooked up called ‘bed time’ is just the final straw. I have been pushed to my line. This far. No Further. So dear Mama and Papa, will you kindly relinquish your parentage over me, that I might be free?”

After a very long silence, littered with back and forth blinks of astonishment from Mama to Papa, the time has come to introduce the encroachment, little cherub cheeks, has yet to be oppressed by; the ass whipping.

Do I think these petitions are going to go anywhere? Honestly, no. I expect them to be mostly ignored by the media, no matter how many signatures they get, and completely dismissed by the white house as silly. And that’s granting they acknowledge them at all. Sorry petition signers, but I just don’t think you are going to get the response you are looking for. I’m sure Obama appreciates you helping him compile an enemies list though; frees Janet Napolitano up to finally take that Pilates class she’s been neglecting. That being said, I certainly wouldn’t want it to be construed that I am looking down my nose at the Right of States to secede. Nor do I think that initiating these petitions is a waste of time. Quite the contrary.

For anyone who has actually been paying attention the world around them, specifically in the former land of the Free and Brave, the cold truth is now coming home that Freedom truly isn’t free. And you can’t purchase Freedom on the sands of lands you can’t pronounce. No, Freedom has always been in the guardianship of a nation’s people. Not it’s political system, or its elected servant’s well crafted legislation’s, designed to cloak the tyranny with pages and pages of words and words connecting to other words in other pages with sections and subsections, and addendum’s to said subsections. No, Republics are always established and hopefully maintained, by a collection of people that actually understand terms such as “Unalienable Rights” and “All men are created equal”. It is when such a people slumber that the Freedoms protected under Republics begin to slip away and my have we been asleep.

Over the past ten or so years alone, We the People have allowed the federal government to invade a limitless amount of other nations without declarations of war (because as long as you don’t call a war, war, you don’t have to declare. Thanks Georgy boy, we really appreciate that precedent). We have allowed paranoid politicians to craft the Patriot Act and the NDAA under the guise of protecting our Rights by violating our Rights, and we are now offering up our young to the TSA for patriotic cavity searches. The Department of Homeland Security has turned its rhetoric from Islamic extremism to domestic extremism, and now the profiling debate is moot because we are all suspects. The drones we have been using to stack up millions of dead, civilian bodies in Iraq and elsewhere are now hovering over our suburbs, and soon we will all be mandated to carry our papers at all times. Now that We the People are starting to perk up and pay attention to such things as election fraud, and off shore bankers having made off with all our gold a long, long time ago; it seems that the federal government just so happens to need a whole lot of hollow point bullets.

Now, I am a peaceful human being, and do not believe in any form of pre-emptive violence; and do not believe that there is, nor will ever be a dilemma which cannot be resolved peacefully. I believe that violence is the result of men, who in power at the time are lazy and unimaginative. However, when you mention secession, it automatically evokes in the uninformed, the emotion of fear. They, who actually have the vocabulary to understand the word, are brought to images of the civil war. They automatically think that even the mention of seceding will ultimately bring about such a civil war.
While looking through the comments of some fake face book friends, I came across this one (of course I’ll not give the name of the commenter as to not ostracize him as the village idiot).
A couple of years ago I went to the Andersonville National Cemetery with the Boy Scouts to place flags on the graves of fallen Civil War soldiers. It was littered with grave stones everywhere of soldiers who gave their lives to preserve the Union. It blows my mind that 150 years later we would bring up the option of seceding because we don’t agree with the selection of the president. I did not vote for him and do not agree with most of his policies, nevertheless, he was elected as president in a free election and this is a shameful option to consider. I remember thinking during the 2000 election how irreprehensible the Democrats were behaving by insisting on recount after recount when the vote in Miami-Dade County was conclusive. I remember thinking that was one of the differences between Democrats and Republicans. That we would never stoop to being cry-babies because we lost an election. Make no mistake; one of the things that make the USA great is the rule of law, that we all obey it. It gives us stability. Extremism… (and yes secession is one of the most extreme measures that can be taken)….leads to instability and revolutions

Now, though this person has much to be desired in the area of knowing anything about history, and what form of government our Founders handed to us, his concern is a legitimate one. His fear is a legitimate fear. If a State were to secede, how can it survive off the tit of the federal government? Isn’t the idea of a divisible union treasonous? Shouldn’t we obey the will of a mob in a mock election, and change our Republic to a socialist state, because that is the will of the democratically elected representatives of the empire?

The simple truth is that this guy is afraid. As well as many are, or should be. Now that these petitions are surging in signers, the very word, the very concept, is becoming an option in the minds of many. The word secede, is being googled. As that happens, more and more people will see that it is not synonymous with war. That there is a way it can be done peacefully, in fact, it is inevitability. The box of Pandora is open. The notion that the United States, are, and have always been separate, and equal States is now becoming commonplace and as the economy continues to plummet, more and more will begin to adopt this philosophy. As we watch the countries of old, topple overseas; we also see them giving rise to something new. Perhaps this is the very thing our country is going through. Perhaps our country isn’t static; perhaps it is susceptible to change.

Of course, the best response to the village idiot’s comment that I could see was:
When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the CONSENT of the governed,–That WHENEVER ANY FORM OF GOVERNMENT BECOMES DESTRUCTIVE of these ends, it is the RIGHT of the PEOPLE to ALTER or to ABOLISH it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a LONG TRAIN OF ABUSES AND USURPATIONS, pursing invariably the same Object evinces a design to REDUCE THEM UNDER ABSOLUTE DESPOTISM, it is their RIGHT, it is their DUTY, to THROW OFF such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.” The Declaration of Independence — This country was founded by extreme secessionists.

Maybe these petitions won’t grab the response most hope they will. But one thing they will not do is fade away. The concept has escaped. It is in men’s minds. Once again people are beginning to question if the ruling elite actually have our best interests in mind. Now, last time, we had a man hell bent on doing all he could to keep the States united, so much so, that he was willing to spark a civil war. This time, while things are still pleasant, still proper, still polite; will our executive take a new route? Will he allow the peaceable part? Well an optimist can always point out that the waters we are in remain eternally; uncharted.


  1. nullificession says:

    Norway managed to peacefully secede from Sweden in 1905 due to a constitutional crisis, near unanimous consent among the norwegian ruling class (and those norwegians who partook in the referendum) and strong support among the swedish public. (And their burgeoning social democratic movement.)
    Norway and Sweden existed as separate states with close ties, so their situation should be quite similar to that of the individual states of the union.

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