THE SOLITUDE OF SUFFERING PART ONE: A MAN OF SORROWS

D. L. CRUMPTON

D. L. CRUMPTON

Buddha said that life is suffering. That kinda sucks. But the guy has a pretty big following so there must be something to the observation. I know I have had my share of it and no doubt you have as well so we have that in common, got to build rapport where we can. When you are in a state of suffering it is much akin to drowning or having a very large anvil pressing down on your chest. It’s difficult to think, a burden to eat, and exhausting simply being conscious while something is eating away at you. Others may empathize with you due to having gone through similar situations, but far and few between are those rare souls that can actually soothe your wounds. One typically must suffer in solitude and believe me, it aint no walk in the park when you have to go it alone. We all have our trial by fire, be it the loss of a loved one, illness, financial crisis, divorce or the absence of someone dear to us either by miles or emotions and when we endure such trials, at the time, it may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Suffering-Servant-MessiahAs for me, nearly the last decade of my life has seemingly been one instance of suffering in solitude followed shortly after by another instance. In my twenties my mom developed stage four cancer and was given six months to occupy the planet. This was her second bout with cancer and the odds were extremely slim considering the aggressive nature of the disease. She had endured radiation and chemo the first time, and it was not something she was eager to try again. More likely than not you too have had your life affected by cancer and know full well how much of a nightmare it is. It is particularly worse when it is someone extremely close to you like your mother. You have to endure the sickness, the weakness, the fear, the hopelessness and you have to watch someone you love with all your heart deteriorating before your eyes. You don’t want to show the person that has cancer how much pain you are in as well because of morale, so you endure the suffering of the experience within. You keep it bottled up and buried deep and the truth of the matter is that you might as well have cancer too. That suffering eats at you from within. You cry out to God for answers and demand to know why It has allowed this to happen to someone you love, someone that doesn’t deserve it. You wait for the heavens to open and the All-mighty to give you a direct answer but all you hear is crickets. It is easy to get mad at God on those lonely nights.

Losing my mom to cancer was something I refused to accept and God was giving me nothing, so I resolved to figure something out on my own. As it would happen I stumbled upon a book called A World without Cancer: The Story of Vitamin B-17 by G. Edward Griffin which makes the case that mere vitamin supplementation can cure this horrid disease. After doing my own research I remember going to my mom one night while she laid on the couch in pain and putting my hand in hers. I explained it all to her and asked her to give it a shot. She looked at me and said “I wish I had as much faith as you do”, to which I responded “Mama, I have enough for the both of us”. I needed a miracle and if fabricating faith within myself brought it about then so be it. So I bought a pound of apricot seeds (the highest concentration of vitamin B-17 is in apricot seeds) and began grinding 14 a day and mixing it with her protein shakes. Less than three months later my mom was cancer free and she has occupied the planet for another ten years and going since we administered the vitamins. It was only after the fact that I realized God doesn’t open up the heavens to answer you, It answers with that small, still voice within. That internal voice that refuses to accept defeat and drives you to find a solution on your own.

photo from www.attorneynegotiationcenter.com

photo from www.attorneynegotiationcenter.com

At the time I was a newlywed and obviously this period took an emotional toll on my marriage right out of the gates. It isn’t easy delegating your time, emotion and attention to a sick mother and a brand new blushing bride. You are stuck in the unwinnable situation of both giving one too much and the other too little. Imagine walking on a tightrope between the now non-existent twin towers because that’s exactly what it feels like. Thankfully though, when my mom was cured I was able to shift my focus to the woman that wed me and a period of happiness emerged when the two of us bought our first home. For a time it was good. Nine to five jobs, I started writing again after years of not a single drop of ink, had a dog, a cat and a routine of dinner on the table by seven if she was cooking and eleven if I was cooking (the trick to being a good cook is to take a long time so those eating are good and hungry. You see that way even if you screw the recipe up they are so hungry they don’t care) and life was like that John Cougar Mellencamp song Pink Houses. Of course creeping in the back of my head was the notion that life could not be this good for this long without interruption. I always say that for love, sleep and riches to be enjoyed they must be interrupted. Now that is not my quote, but it is still true.

It was February 15th of 2011 when I came back into town from work. My normal routine was to stop and check on my parents then go home and begin cleaning, cooking and jumping on the treadmill while I watched some long documentary on something bizarre I had found on YouTube. That day I broke my routine though. Normally I would always go into my parent’s home and see if they needed anything, but since the night before was my ex-wife’s birthday, and we had had a disagreement, I felt I needed to just drive by and see if the lights were on then go home to prepare for apologizing for something I didn’t do or another. That’s marriage for you. If you want it to have any shelf life you have to be willing to plead guilty when you are anything but. I know it sounds spineless, but trust me, it is easier to say “Honey I am sorry for your perceived violations and promise to never, ever do it again” than listening to her go on and on for hours on end about it. Trust me, if you are going to do the marriage thing you better be ready to apologize for anything and everything because if you don’t she will ensure that your life is a living and eternal hell. As the Bible says “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” While I was picking up the house with an Anthony Hopkins film playing in the background, I got a call from my mom. She was screaming and I already knew in my gut what was happening. She said my dad was asleep and couldn’t wake up. I told her I would be there shortly and hung up. I flew over in no time at all and in the meantime called 911 to have ambulances meet me there.

photo from thebookofatom.blogspot.com

photo from thebookofatom.blogspot.com

Once I arrived I flew up the stairs and turned to the right, I could see my mom standing over my dad who was lying on the bed. I ran into the room and grabbed her first. I took her to the living room and sat her down and told her to sit and pray. Afterwards I went into the bedroom while I had 911 on the phone, picked my father up and laid him on the floor. I lifted his neck back and began CPR. The moment I began all the air locked in his lungs flooded into mine and filled me like a balloon. At that moment I heard the voice of a young man say “Don’t worry son, everything is going to be okay”. The experience was one of the most profound I have ever had. I worked on him for about fifteen minutes as the police on the scene simply watched before EMT arrived and once they did I consoled my mother. As I collected his medication for the hospital the police thought it appropriate to disarm me of my firearm and run the serial number while my father was in the next room with tubes in him. Protectin’ and servin’ and all that jazz. Deep in my heart I knew my father was gone. He had been in a lot of pain his last few months and I knew he was ready to cross over. When they got him to the hospital they tried for almost an hour to bring him back but my dad was always stubborn and wouldn’t let them. He had crossed over and that’s all there was to it. Now I had to deal with it as well as the toll it would take on my family.

After preaching my father’s eulogy, I didn’t want my mom and brother in the house where he died so they lived with me for a stint until I could find them a place to stay. Their presence in my home again put an emotional toll on my marriage. My ex-wife was not too pleased with this. She was ready to start a family and feared we never would if I kept tending to the needs of others. Now keep in mind, she had lost some loved ones and in those times she went to the darkest pits you could possibly imagine years before my ordeals began, and afterward I stuck by her side to see her through it. However three months after my father’s passing I was presented with divorce papers. Again we see the solitude of suffering. I remember falling to my knees and begging her not to do this to me, that I needed her, but I suppose when someone has something in their head you can only postpone it before they pull the trigger. It lasted another year or so before the trigger was finally pulled. In the meantime I was tapped by the Divine to suffer from one of the most horrible afflictions that I can imagine.

 

MAROON 5 MAPS

 

It started the day my father crossed over. I remember lying down on the floor in attempt to get some sleep and just before I blinked out, my entire body exploded with what felt like an electric jolt, and all of a sudden I was reliving the event with my father. It only took this to happen two or three times before I realized “Oh my God, I have post-traumatic stress disorder”. This revelation was absolutely horrific for me knowing that my father had suffered from it after Vietnam and having heard the stories of what a toll it had taken on him. When you have a high powered mind, and that mind suddenly turns against you, believe me it is no picnic. PTSD is literally like living in hell and breathing fire and brimstone every waking moment with no hints of relief. You never know when you may suffer from a panic attack, a muscle spasm or convulsion throughout your whole body or a severe flashback where you are forced to relive the trigger moment. One of the main reasons I am so passionate about the troops is because I can personally relate to the solitude of suffering in having to endure traumatic events because if there is anything that is true it’s this; unless you have endured PTSD you cannot understand the torment of it. Now, being deeply spiritual, I had to believe that there was some way beyond the orthodox methods, that there was a way out of this maze of the eternal and perpetual hell I was enduring in complete solitude. There were no words (and that is quite a statement from a writer) that can describe what it is like to be locked in that prison. I could see the wear and tear it was taking on me, on my family and my extending loved ones and I was determined to find a way out of it. So, once again I did as I was accustomed to doing, and in desperation cried out to that entity we all call by some name or another, which at the time I called God, for help. Again …nothing but crickets. No shaft of light. No heavens opening up. No nothing. Crickets and me alone in some secluded area of my yard or the wilderness; that was all I got. This disorder was tearing me and my family apart and I was doing all that I was told was the right thing to do and praying in all the ways I was taught to do it and that big bearded guy in the sky was handing me nothing but peanuts…and in all actuality I bought the peanuts from a seven eleven with a Hindu cashier. So again that self-determination kicked in and I began racing through books on how to repair the mind of trauma. Fortune would bring me one called Depression Free Naturally by Joan Mathews Larson which taught a homeopathic approach for mental ailments rather than the big pharma approach. In it she outlined patients are literally starving themselves because our food doesn’t provide the body with vitamins and nutrients (thanks Monsanto). She recommended supplements like DMAE, L-Tryptophan, high doses of vitamin C, B, and fish oil. So I got myself a pill kit and loaded up on supplements. Like a miracle, within a matter of days all the symptoms of PTSD were completely gone and I was experiencing more peace than I had had in a very long time. The high powered mind that had turned against me was now back in my hands and sharper than ever. Through simply taking vitamins and meditation.

This is the point in my life when I began to examine the things I believe, and of course I would encourage you to do the same without the inconvenience of doing it through suffering, and began studying other faiths. Over time I began to see from a different perspective. One not taught in any particular school of thought. All schools of thought teach you to seek the differences between one faith and another. We are trained to look for what separates a Christian from a Muslim. We are conditioned into looking for what separates a Buddhist from a Hindu. Jehovah’s Witness are pitted against Mormons and Catholics against the Jew. We all take pride in the title we have become adept in and will fight, sometimes violently, against the opposing titles. You have the materialistists that tend to be masculine God worshippers and the spiritualists who tend to be feminine Goddess worshippers and the two cascades continually clash against one another in conflict and have done so throughout the ages. It is only now that select groups are beginning to see the chaos of the two and the havoc it has caused in the realization that what we are dealing with is a cosmic, dysfunctional marriage of the two. Male and Female, God and Goddess are one and the same. Our understanding of God has been dictated to us and we have been told that it is a gender, an iconography. A man with a beard on a throne with a sack of lightning bolts ready to smack you in the head if you believe something other than what comes from the pulpit.

photo from politicalfun.blogspot.com

photo from politicalfun.blogspot.com

Listen, let me take a weight off your shoulders right about now. All that stuff was mechanisms of control. You don’t have to believe any of it if you don’t want to. Now if you want to, more power to you. Just understand that you were handed that mess of dogmatism and you didn’t arrive at it on your own. Some chap behind a pulpit or some guy wearing a dress outlined it for you. Now you can smite me right now for being the messenger…but at the end of the day you will know I am right, and that is the thing you will not be able to escape. Unless you have experienced the Divine yourself, unless you have had that moment of absolute clarity where what you conceive as God intervened in your life and you were enlightened to the notion that there is no other way to touch that Divinity than through the self, then you cannot understand. I could care less what label you slap on yourself. When one touches Source, they know titles are burnt away. In that moment they can only say that they know. They have no choice but to say, “I Know”! They don’t need belief, they don’t need faith. They simply know. They need no religion, they need no title, and they need not restrict themselves to one particular scripture because they have touched that which no human hand can touch. They have touched the Divine with the eye of the mind.

Those who endure the solitude of suffering are forced to their knees time and time again awaiting that answer that never comes in a shaft of light, but in the still small voice. Over time they realize this is by design. The Creator, the Architect, has a pre written plan. They have seen this before, they have lived this before, and they have acted this out before. There is a cycle, there is a circle. The first reaction is denial. You don’t want to accept that you have done this before because that is an admission of guilt. Will you please dismiss that because you have and you don’t want to be a douchebag this time too now do you?
This epiphany in my spiritual life was a landmark. The moment I stopped looking for the differences of all the faiths and began looking for the similarities is exactly when I started to find them. Once all the walls of dogmatism fell down my spiritual growth took a quantum leap and of course the natural course of evolution in this process is that those closest to you begin to believe you are insane. One of the natural courses of my evolution was to take a thirty day vow of silence, (which for anyone who knows me, you understand how extremely difficult this is) while I built a Zen Garden in the back yard.

Taking a vow of silence is extremely relaxing because once you take it and commit to it you become free from the notion of having to respond. You can simply stay in your own head and observe. Of course while you suppress that flow of output it will surely pop up in another area of creativity. For me, it did so in the form of my Zen garden. I had never been one to build anything with my own hands and had never been trained to do so, yet the more I suppressed the chi of my words the more this physical thing began to manifest itself. Of course all of my in laws, and sometimes including my Ex-wife, began to believe I was going insane but what they failed to see is that I was finally finding a peace that thus far had been unattainable. Buddhism and the path of Dharma aren’t as complicated or as sophisticated as some may make out; it is simply finding God in the little things all around you. It is exactly as Yeshua would describe his Father, as a wind that no one can see where it comes from or where it goes, only the effect of its presence.

There once was a story, and I will paraphrase, that says a woman went to a guru one day and told him that she feared she did not love God. The guru responded with “Who do you love most in this world?” to which the young woman replied, “My child here. I love my child more than anything in the world.” The Guru smiled and grabbed her cheeks saying, “When you look at your child you are looking at God”. That is the end of the parable but what I gleaned from it is that anything you look at with pure unconditional love is God, because God is unconditional love. This is, for some, a difficult thing to do. Especially when they have yet to be through the trials of suffering. They may make God out to be some distant being but when you have suffered and decided you want no more you find God is all around you, all about you, within you and within all those that you love. As my friend Jesse Herriott would say, there is no spot where God is not.

Now you have this epiphany in your head and a place of inner tranquility happens…then you get a divorce and all that stuff flies out the window..

 

TO BE CONTINUED IN “THE SOLITUDE OF SUFFERING PART TWO: LIFE AFTER DIVORCE”

The Semblance of Freedom that is the 28th Amendment

redblue_pill

“My pity to he who fights every day for a liberty for all that he never truly experiences for himself.”

Freedom is Choice

In the broad scope of things, we may have lost sight of what it is we’re truly fighting for. I’ve said before to avoid listing the numerous freedoms we’ve lost, and to focus on what freedom we will or will not have in our future. The reason for this is because it all boils down to one thing. Freedom.

Like many of you, I grew up hearing and telling others that this was a “Free” country. The reality is that it’s not. There is nothing free in this country. In fact, what once was the very symbol of freedom is nothing more than scattered memories and images turned sour by the Elite. The definition of freedom becomes diluted with concepts of what freedom looks like, rather than what is really is.

There’s no real difficulty in moving the nation into true freedom, but the process demands we first acknowledge what freedom is. Not only are we tasked with redefining the term, but to embrace it and the challenges that come with fulfilling it. Now, I’m not a dictionary, and I’m not even using one, but I think when it comes to defining “freedom” we can all agree that CHOICE is an all-inclusive definition that satisfies what we’re after. Am I right?

Mob Rule

Consider everything you do in life ultimately rests on a choice. You have the choice:

– to get up and go to work, or NOT;
– to go spend money on a movie, or NOT;
– to have babies; and so on and so forth.

Basically, you have unlimited choices. They may be affected by such things as finances, scheduling, or some other personal reason; but the fact remains they are your choices to make. And it’s great when you have that freedom, right? That is, until they stop becoming your choice to make.

One of the factors that contribute immensely to the choices we make comes down who gets hurt the most by a decision. Most often, the choices that we want to make, or even that may be the best decision to make, are overridden by the amount of guilt we feel about hurting or disappointing others. In the end, your choice is to go along with whatever everyone else decided was good for them.

This is the very concept that leads to mob rulings. Take the one person out of the many who chooses NOT to do what the rest are doing. That person chooses alternatively, because that is their right.

But what happens?

Appeals start firing off: No! You chose wrong! You must it do it this way, or you’ll be LABELED.

Now you have a mob of people who are somehow injured by your choice to NOT comply, and they in turn run to their legislators and cry about how hurt they’ve been and what they want done to assure themselves they will never endure such hurt again.

Of course, the powers that be recognize this as voter turnout and thusly legislate on behalf of the mob.

It’s tactics like this that made your ownership of that AR-15 a threat. The mob doesn’t like your weapon. It’s scary and bad things happen when it goes off sometimes. So they cry for stricter gun laws, and the next thing you know, you’re a felon.

That’s mob rulers pushing freedom right off a cliff with a boulder tied to the foot. They simply want freedom dead.

The 28th Amendment

Perhaps as a result of my not focusing on listing the losses, I hadn’t realized just how under attack The Constitution is. Not just those first two amendments, but ALL of them.

Brought to light recently by Sen. Ted Cruz, the 28th amendment has been building (according to Snopes.com), both in momentum and lunacy, since 2009. Initially an amendment to address congressional members, the document has blossomed into a full scale attack on the Constitution of the United States. Acting as a general “cure-all” for the liberal-minded, the document reduces America to the status of a neutered dog, in order to reduce the amount of hurt felt by those who cannot accept that people are free and have choices.

Closer Examination

Among the first items addressed in this amendment are your first and second amendments. Your 1A, it’s gone; and, with what’s left of it cannot coexist in the same region as your 2nd amendment. So, if you wish to protest (which, if you can find something left to protest in the list of things you are prohibited from protesting about, I commend you), you must do so with your words, and not your protection of those words. Good luck with that.

The next article seeks to eradicate—I mean, regulate religion. From defining such words as “religious” and demanding they remove them from all things “public” including buildings, money, books, and basically your mouth; this Article of the amendment will make you shake your head. Of particular mention in this area of the amendment, I would ask you to look at Article II Section 3, which reads:

            Section 3. The United States of America is not a Christian nation nor a nation promoting any religion. Instead, the United States of America is a nation of Freedom, Equality, Justice and Equal Rights for ALL people.

Color me a conspiracy theorist, but are you beginning to see what’s going on here? Words are important, as they are received by the human mind and processed in particular ways. This section very clearly denounces the Christian heritage of America. Over any other religion chosen to specifically call out, the writers chose Christianity. Over time, mob rules such as these turn into “you are prohibited from practicing Christianity.” Ask a witch how she knows, cause just as the Pagans and the Natives were thwarted for their beliefs, so shall be the believers of Christianity if legislation like this is adopted.

Some other interesting details throughout this document include placing requirements for education and testing on Government Officials that even our founding fathers would fail. It ought to frighten you that these requirements include holding a bachelor’s degree, and passing several mental and physical evaluations. Essentially, the liberal unicorn chasers want to believe that their educational system is so valuable that no one holding office could possibly be good for us if they don’t have a piece of paper to prove they received it.  I’m not going to point out that many of history’s greatest achievements (including the founding of our country) stem from people who were mentally ill, and/or on drugs.  Considering the way of America is leaning on the passing of laws to make doing drugs LEGAL, I would wonder what pool of people that will leave us with to CHOOSE to lead us.

I can guarantee you one thing; by the standards listed in this document, whoever is left to lead this country will certainly have no religious background. Because there’s a requirement for that. Religious leaders are BARRED from running for public office or positions within public education for a period of time AFTER they have chosen to LEAVE their position of faith. Once again, asking people to denounce their faith in order to participate. And if you can’t comply with this, you will be subject to impeachment proceedings, or if you are running, your campaign will be ignored and prohibited from participating in political debates and functions. Let’s put it like this: NO FAITH FOR YOU! If your faith is speaking out loud, it’s too loud for public.

Are you getting a little mad yet? They have articles that cover education. If you didn’t think education was at a loss yet, just wait. This document outlines the provisions of government funding only to public schools. No charter schools can receive government funding. Or put simply: no funding to any source of education that could potentially educate on a religious topic. Not every charter school is a religion-based school, but thanks for limiting our choices to receive ONLY a public education unless we can afford something different. That ought to keep the religious population in check.

If that doesn’t work, certainly our liberal modification of the “acceptable” text books will help you to comply. Adding to the absurdity of this amendment, Article VIII Section 2 identifies that all educational material will be stripped of religious reference; in particular science education will convey only the idea of evolution and extrude the FACTS that other IDEAS exist. Because the only thing better than a child that learns is one that learns only what you want them to without asking questions. And for the checkers of the “other” box in the questionnaire regarding religion—who wants to answer those kind of questions, right?

The reality is, if you were truly interested in education and evolution, you wouldn’t be so scared of evolving. Education is acknowledgement of all the contributions that lead us to think, believe, and act in a certain way regardless of where they come from – science, religion, or spirituality. To negate that these ideas have had any effect on the way the world works is to outlaw freedom in the form of prohibiting education, and aids in DE-EVOLVING our species. Knowledge is power, and should be embraced along with all the questions it comes with. The lack of education prohibits freedom in that it demands your CHOICE to be an uneducated one.

As usual this document also attacks prayer at school. The injured folks can’t bear to see your child sit in prayer, so they need to keep that at home. They want to take ‘the Federal Holiday known as Christmas’ and change the name to ‘Winter Holidays,’ because it does a better job of acknowledging that variety of celebrations we have. God-forbid someone wish you a merry fucking Christmas. Sorry, I’m getting mad now. Not because once upon a time the holiday was Pagan, anyway, but because once again (if it’s still not clear) the country is going toe to toe over something petty and ridiculous that will result in the harm of others. Why don’t we just suggest changing the name of the country while we’re at it?

Oh look, a section on reproduction. Which, I’m honestly going to let you embrace on your own, because I have had enough.

The Ramifications of Choices

Does any of this sound good to you? Laced with a puppies-and-kittens version of a potentially “peaceful” future, because we’ve wiped out the infringement religion places on us while also creating a shun for any who have a religious preference; this document outlines the semblance of freedom while actually destroying the very meaning of the word. If my CHOICE is to accept the terms of this document or NOT, then I CHOOSE NOT. I will not comply with these ideas, because they are a violation of my freedom to choose.

And when more of me CHOOSE not to comply, many will be injured by our choice. They will likely push harder. They will do so without realizing the damaging effects of their choice. And what are the damages?

Consider this… once you’ve complied, and denounced your faith in a higher power, and bought into the drugs that are now legal, and educated yourself and your children in the manner which has been outlined for you; what are you, but a member of an Orwellian society—conformed and obedient? That’s exactly what we’re headed for when we even consider documents such as the proposed 28th amendment.

It is preventable, though. When we embrace the freedom that is choice, we can choose not to comply. We can choose to practice our freedom as openly as we can regardless of who gets hurt over it, because that is our RIGHT as Americans, and as HUMAN BEINGS.

Of course, embracing your choice will come with challenges. You’ll have to choose to defend your choice against the tyrants and the mobs, or not. Whatever you choose to do, choose it and embrace it with all the challenges it comes with, or live a prisoner. I choose not to comply with the ideas presented in this document. I choose my freedom. What will you choose?

Sources:

Senator Ted Cruz Exposes Democratic Plan to Repeal First Amendment – http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/Cruz-amendment-campaign-financing/2014/06/02/id/574515/?promo_code=165C6-1

The 28th Amendment (Full) http://politicalresearchdatabase.tumblr.com/post/36611972771

Snopes- http://www.snopes.com/politics/medical/28thamendment.asp

FOND AND FONDER

Scream in silence, unto a wall…do yell.
Question the four walls of this solitary cell.
Within your parade, others’ shadows I see you follow.
Another pillow of tears to feel and wallow.
Take life by the hand in its sacred trust.
The first is last and the last is first.
A riddle is me, chased daily by an angry bee.
And as I fell, lovely arms gave a place to flee.
Sweet nothings, now dismal…fading to gray.
No one but me to keep the harlots at bay.
They strut their fancy with words as blades.
Caught in grip of emotions as oceans of fierce waves.
My love is ever true and forever sweet.
Add something to nothing, as one yearns to be complete.
Be not the ship that will never come back!
No light in dreams and all…turns black.
Desire. An aspect of honor, if used the right way.
Without love, I am merely a lump of clay.
Breathing in eternity and to share with that fortunate other.
Beneath the tree, is me and my sultry lover.
Beat soft my bleeding heart.
To embrace light and no dark.
Flesh cursed with dreadful stain.
As love costs, yet most is vain.
Her tan skin, I did long to hold and touch.
I did not know that I desired too much.
Sweetness, even now gives me songs to write.
Contemplations gave melody in the still night.
Dripping dreams taught my heart…to love.
In this grand world of push and shove.
The enemy, though hidden from eyes to see.
Is it light or his darkness that we flee?
I am the rebel, turned and twisted by words of men!
Feel my thoughts penetrate the depth of skin.
I entreat wisdom which is my dearest delight.
Though we conquer and win the fight!
Fill my glass with happiness and fill yours too.
A toast we give for the mere reason…to be true.

SELF VALIDATION

What is self validation? This you might ask if the title of this little piece has somehow swam its way into the fabulous vacuum of thine eye. Simply put; self validation is the act of seeking the inward approval of one’s self by means of forcing the inward self out on others. That’s right, that cousin, uncle, sister, mother, father that simply can’t resist scolding some of your spicier personality traits and insist that what you have done or what you are doing is violating their flawed interpretations of ancient traditions, yes those people are self validators. Don’t be too hasty with this line of thought though because it matters not which of the many varieties of ancient traditions your attackers may happen to hail from; self validators hail from all. They whip out their sacred books, they flip them to a spot pre marked, they slam that finger down on the numbered line, and there you go. You be in the wrong. At this point it is expected of you to nod in agreement, hang thy head, and submit to their wishes and from this point hence never stray from their way ever…ever…again. Not only is this expected it is demanded but somehow I think if you’ve read this far then it is unlikely that those asking for a bend of the knee would get the icing on the cake of their own self aggrandizement. [Read more…]