Spiritually Trending

D.L. Crumpton
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The problem began when most of the people made search engines their god. This was an easy and natural step for the majority of mankind who simply need something or someone outside of themselves to do the work for them, save them, or create a path to enlightenment ahead of them because they sure as hell aren’t about to do it themselves but won’t hesitate to take a crack at feigning it. This is, after all, the point and purpose of organized religion. Come on in, relax, we have it all figured out for you already and here is some marketing material that just happens to be old that will explain everything for you. You see, no personal responsibility or accountability is required here! We subcontracted all that to a messiah, prophet, or deity of some sort so all you need to do is simply take our organized, incorporated word that what we tell you is everything you need to know. Of course, like the changing of fashion styles or any other idiotic trend, organized religion has become soooo last epoch. Now the trend that’s in is a spiritual materialism whose faith and practice has the final authority of the internetz! Swell.


Once upon a time, and probably still for those in the know, truths of a spiritual matter were transmitted by the method of mouth to ear, from Master to Apprentice, in an unbroken chain since the first Light Bringers had to come down to this ghetto sphere in the Tree of Life to get the primates up on their feet all balanced and proper. Then marketing was invented, and religions started springing up from the uninitiated who heard a thing or two from here or there then went off convinced they knew what the fuck they were talking about. And as you would expect, they didn’t. This is why when attempting to have any in depth conversation with a subscriber to older religions it is soon revealed that their limp understanding of what they purport to believe isn’t even remotely close to what their source material says anyway. But I suppose you can’t really blame them because most religion’s source material is edited to an agenda about as much as a Wikipedia entry; subject to change like the terms of service for a pathway to heaven company that operates much like an insurance company for the mentally handicap due to atrophy.


Now what serves as the final authority in faith & practice is Google, its subsidiaries, and every nitwit, spiritual guru/content creator & the “followers” they have racked up with flashy designs or paid subscribers that parrot whatever the Almighty Algorithm has decided to program the collective unconscious with this week! It kinda smacks of Skynet taking over the planet after it came on line, only in this reality it didn’t need to launch nukes to subjugate humanity; it just needed to get a whole lot of people on YouTube to believe that saying stupid phrases like “spiritual, not religious”, “love & light” or anything with the word “dimension” in it means you are the shiny new buddha everyone needs to sit before and listen to all of a sudden. You know the kind of people I mean, right? In reality their personal life is a complete mess. They are doomed to swing from broken relationships, to shattered affairs and circumstances that are clearly destructive, counterproductive & filled with the most unspiritual intents with herpes to testify to that attestation or five aborted babies to boot! You know, con artists whose biggest mark just so happens to be themselves. Somewhere deep down, they probably think that if they can fool enough people into imbibing their metaphysical bullshit, then perhaps, poof! It will magically happen for them, around them and within them without ever having to truly do the work. Oh, they’ll say they are “doing the work” while not actually doing the work and how that comes out of their mouth is with the word “healing”.


Allow me to cruise on this topic for a moment because it truly is one of the more annoying spiritual trends that clearly indicates an exquisite idiocy in the person spewing it and that’s the trend of perpetual healing. Hey, look, I get it. The world is a trauma farm. You got trauma, I got trauma, we all got trauma, so, healing; sure. I mean no one is looking down their nose at taking appropriate time and measures to heal from all our unique and personalized internal bullshit. S’probably a good idea to routinely check in with a therapist or have a nice support network as a fixed thing in your journey here on Earth. Keep working on the muscles in your mental, emotional, spiritual & physical and like any exercise, which does require a rest period to repair or heal. Just like a slash from a butcher knife to the flesh; when you see the red flow, slow your roll, slow your heartbeat, and let your blood coagulate to do its thing. Heal. If you do it right you will be healing, then guess what? Healed! That’s right boys & girls, and when you are healed of a thing, the thing is no longer an issue in your experience of life because if it is, youre not healing anything. Youre picking at scabs because bleeding gets you some attention and dopamine hits when need be. Put it to you this way, if a trauma to the flesh is healed and has proven so by becoming a scar to remind you of survival, isn’t to perpetually see blood flowing a pretty good clue you are nowhere near healing? Yeah, didn’t think so. Anyhoo, moving on.


I think the vacuum this thought experiment came from is due to knowing that not that many years ago, few there be that were discussing (openly anyway) much of the components to the spiritual stew one can sup from when walking one’s Individual path. Gurus, guides, or sages were very far and very few between. Any worth their salt that is. Which meant so too was the true guiding Light of Spiritual Truths that have endured through the transaction of mouth to ear for millennia. This required a studious, disciplined & determined Will from an initiate to advance in any school of the arts or crafts as they required an ever-present unction to own knowledge for themselves rather than to have it packaged, sold, and fed to them. How Master or Apprentice often discovered one another was from a twinkle in the eyes and little to no need to announce that each were a Fellow Traveler on the Yggdrasil Trunk. No business cards exchanged, no QR codes to scan, no channels to subscribe and hit the bell notification on. Then suddenly, almost overnight & as fast as the porn industry found its footing in the world, wide, web; everybody is into crystals, meditation, witchcraft, yoga and chakras and shit. And perhaps that wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that the same repeating masses that were shopping trends in religion before this explosion of occultism online occurred, simply piled onto the Black Friday of the Soul & joined one bandwagon or another that sprung up somewhere online. And with their same primitive thinking, deluded themselves into believing, yet again that if a whole lot of people are saying a thing, that thing must be so, therefore they can repeat the thing that was said and try to play it off like they have firsthand experience or knowledge of it themselves. Puny.

Once there was a Master Chef, who had at the beginning of his long quest, been a kitchen porter, that wanted to hand down a bit of culinary Wisdom to a young lad with a baby-sitting-smart pad dangling from his digits. The Master Chef had been taught by a Master Chef in a long line of Master Chef’s going back to the first thing ever placed on a spit. The truths of the trade were determined by trial, error, correction, and results then transmuted to the next in line of the Cosmic Kitchen from mouth to ear and on occasion in scribed text (with an ingredient or two missing for security purposes). The Master Chef asked the young boy if he knew the difference between soup & stew, to which the boy shook his head with a slobbery nosed, no. The Master Chef then proceeded to explain what the distinctions were and smiled with satisfaction that some pearl of Wisdom in the culinary arts might have been passed on to another generation. However, before he could marinate in his satisfaction, the lad’s spiritually trended sperm donor swiveled around in his chair and googled the difference between a soup & a stew to triumphantly read aloud a completely different answer from the flickering, blue screen of the internetz than what the Master Chef had declared. What was more audacious to the Master Chef than the spiritually trended, sperm donor thinking it was incumbent upon him to “fact check” one who had achieved this rank in his craft; was that the dumb son of a bitch did it with a google search in acquiescence to the notion that search engine algorithms were his final authority on pretty much everything. This same type of blind spot has been adopted by many who fall in the “spiritual, not religious” camp that comes out with new teachings like Wizards of the Coast putting out Dungeons & Dragons books every other week.


What can one expect from the overall collective message of the Spiritual Skynet that can now dictate what you do daily with some handy-dandy pocket app or the other that listens to every word you utter and monitors each movement of your eye upon its receiving black mirror, is inevitably artificial. The Almighty Algorithm that now has humanity by the short hairs is free to edit, delete, or rearrange any spiritual meaning to ikons, images, alignments, practices, or texts with any agenda it likes. And whatever search engine results happen to show up on the first page is now the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth for those who are addicted to what is spiritually trending. It’s a very efficient hall of mirrors with dopamine smoke to keep the profane masses scrambling for what new path to ascension or heaven or healing modality is on the feed this week. No doubt through all that superficial, spiritual clicking there is bound to be a shopping cart icon at the end of their journey to attain some trinket or another as proof that they have indeed finally reached the summit of the mountain with a retail price of about $199.99! Perhaps if there is indeed some truth to spiritual notions of a judgement to come or a weighing of the heart, at least those who stayed with the spiritual trends will have a t-shirt or something to get burned with or get eaten by a giant crocodile in. They wouldn’t bow to altars of their fathers because that was old hat, but give em a digital god in their pocket and they’ll lap up each of its doctrines & covenants all the way to Hades.



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About D.L. Crumpton 73 Articles
Daniel Louis Crumpton, author of the groundbreaking novel "Then Came the Flood" (Westbow Press), is an enigmatic visionary, writer, and thinker whose journey through life has been a ceaseless exploration of boundless horizons. Born with an insatiable curiosity and an innate drive for understanding the intricacies of existence, Crumpton has dedicated his life to delving into the depths of various disciplines, from philosophy and spirituality to science and the arts. From an early age, Crumpton exhibited a rare talent for weaving words into profound narratives that resonate deeply with the human experience. This gift led him to pursue a path as a writer, captivating readers with his ability to distill complex concepts into eloquent prose. His works effortlessly bridge the gap between the esoteric and the tangible, inviting readers to ponder the profound questions that often lie at the heart of existence. Crumpton's literary exploration extends beyond the written word, as he is also a passionate advocate for fostering open dialogue and intellectual exchange. Through his engaging discussions and thought-provoking lectures, he has cultivated a vibrant community of like-minded individuals who are equally committed to exploring the realms of consciousness, the mysteries of the universe, and the human condition. In addition to his pursuits in writing and speaking, Crumpton's multifaceted nature is evident in his creative endeavors. Crumpton's journey has been one of continuous evolution, marked by an unyielding determination to push the boundaries of conventional thought. He challenges preconceptions and invites others to question the status quo, fostering an environment where growth and transformation thrive. His insatiable hunger for knowledge has led him to traverse diverse landscapes, from the halls of academia to the quiet contemplation of nature. As an explorer of both the outer cosmos and the inner dimensions of the mind, Daniel Louis Crumpton remains an inspiring figure whose life serves as a testament to the profound impact of unbridled curiosity, fearless inquiry, and the relentless pursuit of truth. His legacy is one that encourages us all to embrace the unknown, expand our perspectives, and embark on our own journeys of discovery. His writing has been featured on ZENINTHECAR.COM, OCHELLI.COM, DOWNLOADEDCONTENT.COM amongst many others. His views, ideas, insights and humorous perspectives on current social and political issues have been heard on internationally and nationally syndicated radio broadcasts such as Ground Zero with Clyde Lewis, Lighting the Void with Joe Rupe, The Ochelli Effect with Chuck Ochelli, The Vinny Eastwood Show and Coast to Coast with George Noory. Daniel Louis Crumpton’s ongoing experimental, introspective and conscious streamed writings, podcasts, videos and interviews can be found collected at ZENintheCAR.com. D.L. Crumpton is also well known for his charitable work with the CannaSense Total Wellness collective (getcannasense.com), which provides medical cannabis to patients in all 50 states.

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